For you, an awesome gallery of clever tip-jars.

*Michael

There are exactly 132 ways by which terrorists could smuggle a nuclear weapon into the United States.  How do I know?  I read this NY Times Op-Edby Stanford University Graduate School of Business Professor Lawrence M. Wein.  (I am a sucker for anybody that talks game theory.)

*Michael

Watched the dark comedy / family drama “Sunshine Cleaning” this weekend.  Amy Adams, Emily Blunt, and Chloe O’Brien Mary Lynn Rajskub are excellent.  Alan Arkin plays a similar Grandpa to his character in “Little Miss Sunshine” and once again steals every scene he’s in.  It’s not one of the great cinematic achievements of our generation, but despite the dark subject matter it’s actually an enjoyable watch. 

*Michael

We were in the book store last night and I picked up a funny looking book with a description that read:

A giant strides this land. A giant who builds robots, sweats mescaline, and kisses like a dream. From the rocky coast of New England to the golden hayfields of Stockton, California, he searches for America’s greatest treasures. You might recognize him by the twinkle in his eye or the lustrous derby hat perched on top of his boulder-sized head.

But for a dude who has it all, he sure seems sad a lot of the time—what’s up with that? And what exactly does he plan to do with all of those wonderful treasures, besides cart them around the country in his enormous red wagon? Is there someone, a beautiful lady named Glorious Jones perhaps, who has asked him to gather the bounty of America in order to prove his love for her?

Then I flipped it open to a random page and read this sentence, “My schedule, you see, is a taxing one. The concentration involved would cause an ordinary person’s brain to crumble into bits like a Renaissance fresco or a muffin.”

Then I bought the book.

Now I will read it.

*Michael

VOLUME 1 - “The Return”

It hasn’t even been 3 full days…so I haven’t had too many late-night cravings for “The Soup” yet.  In fact, it’s been kind of nice.  I finished my book, “Scar Tissue” by Anthony Kiedis, and became a fairly productive member of society.  So far we’ve only run into one significant problem:  returning the cable box.

Although RCN is Boston’s second largest cable provider they do not actually have a Boston office.  Nay, in fact the closest office is conveniently located in 20 miles away in Framingham.  This wouldn’t be a problem if they didn’t keep modified banker’s hours Monday - Friday only 9AM - 5PM with a two hour lunch break from noon ‘till 2PM.  This all but guarantees that anybody who lives in the Boston area and works enough to afford cable television cannot actually return their cable box to said office. 

Why does this matter?  Because even if you cancel your service, you are still charged for renting the cable box.  We pay $17 / month for ours, which means we’ve already paid $1.70 for our glorified doorstop.

Even if I find two hours to on Monday afternoon to return it, the process will cost me at least $60.60. Don’t believe me?

“LOST” WAGES:  approximately = $50.00

GAS:  2.5 gallons at $2.64 / gallon = $6.60

BOX RENTAL FEE:  7 days at $0.567 / day = $4.00 

This doesn’t account for depreciation of the vehicle as well as the environmental costs of my unnecessary travel.  On one hand I hate RCN for wasting my time, on the other hand I have to tip my hat and say, “well played, supposed discount cable provider, well played.  You’ve earned my extra $4.00.  Enjoy your luch break.”

*Michael